You know… I intended this post to be incredibly positive and full of life, but I’m just not feeling that right now. Currently, only a few days into 2023, I am fairly discouraged and salty.
Yes, salty.
I just don’t… FEEL all that thrilled about anything. Some things I was really hoping for, honestly putting my time and energy towards, just are not panning out the way I had in mind.
Not going to go into details there, but the Goblin is disheartened.
Part of it is honestly this blog, and my work in general. None of it seems to be gaining any traction or garnering much notice. Sometimes it’s like I keep scratching and clawing and dragging myself along, but no one sees. No one really listens or cares.
And that can be, as I said, disheartening.
So. Do I have goals, do I have projects planned for this year?
Yes. I do.
Do I think anyone will really take any notice?
No. Not really.
I will be moving along all the same, though, even if I’m asking myself why I even bother.
I do not know what this year has in store, goals or no. None of us do. We hope, we reach, but ultimately we rest on the wings of chance, and see where we’ll be delivered.
May it be a pleasant place.
Let’s begin this ramble about what I hopefully anticipate happening this year.
First, I’ve been talking about launching my Ko-fi page and opening subscriptions there. But no one has shown any interest, and I don’t see a reason to go forward with something no one wants, so in this case I’m not going to bother. I’m not taking the Ko-fi down. If anyone does decide to subscribe, I’ll figure it out, but I don’t think it’ll happen.
Next, I have two, maybe three submission calls I want to write for this year. I’ve already sent my piece for one out, and the calls for the other two have not opened yet. The first of these two, No Trouble At All, a polite horror anthology opens its call in March. I intend to write my piece for it next month, so I don’t have to stress about it last minute. The other call has yet to announce when it opens, so I’m in limbo there.
Other than that, I am collaborating with a fabulous horror artist on a novella we hope to have ready for release this fall. We haven’t yet discussed how or where we are publishing it, but we have some time. Our little bit of cosmic horror just might turn out to be a self-published book.
Who knows, definitely not me.
I’m also writing a set of novels based off one of my short stories in Inflicted. The books, Make the Grade and Qualifier are pretty dear to me. I had a place in mind that I expected would publish them… but that doesn’t seem to be working out, either, and I might just say fuck it and go look for an agent.
What could it hurt, right?
I mean… can’t really put me any further behind in my publishing goals than I am now.
Because let’s face it, “get something, anything published in 2023” isn’t much of a goal.
And that is really what all my goals of this year amount to. Publish something, anything, somewhere before I really am forgotten about.
I know, I know, not being the least bit cheerful here.
But again, I don’t feel particularly cheerful. Oh I’ll be fine. It just doesn’t feel like it right now.
One step at a time, I’ll move along and find an answer to the question of why I even bother.
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